It seems as though I have found myself amidst a pretty big and difficult life lesson. I’m not completely sure where it’s leading me, but enough scenarios have presented themselves over the last few weeks for me to realize I am on a journey to be able to go with the flow, let things go and give up the need for control.
If I am in an unfamiliar or uncomfortable environment I find I deal with it best if I know what to expect and then things happen as I expect them to. When things don’t go according to my expectations it is hard for me to let it go and relax. I tend to get worked up pretty easily, more so if numerous elements go differently than I had anticipated.
This week’s life lesson in reminding me that I can’t control everything has to do with our cat, Henry. Henry is missing. We haven’t seen him since Sunday afternoon and honestly have no idea where he is. He left no trace and no clues. We’re doing what we can to find him, but it’s pretty difficult having no leads whatsoever. Both Alex and I firmly feel that he is okay and will return – we think he’ll just be perched up on the windowsill of our front porch. Until then, it’s pretty hard to get on with our lives and we’re just having a sad week without our Henry cat. Just as we have experienced too many times before with our pets, no matter what we do, we just can’t control their absolute safety or health.
Last week my anxiety was centered around the Powder Betty Backcountry Ski Camp that I took. I will do a full post on that, including my anxiety, after I get some more pictures from the photographer who came with us. I was quite nervous about what to expect for the course, as well as just general anxiety about the risk of skiing in unpatrolled backcountry terrain. The first day of the course was extremely mentally taxing for me because the expectations I had going into it were so, so, so different than reality. Once I calmed down I was able to articulate what was going on in my head and move forward and get past my nerves and ended up having a great time.
I am at a transition point in my job right now with the recent departure of my boss. I’m at the mercy of 15 very skilled board members who are working to determine how this pivotal point in our organization will affect me. My job will likely either stay the same or expand – I’m just not sure. It’s hard to be uninvolved in that decision and just go with the flow, but that’s a life lesson that I have been working through for the last few weeks. That one in particular is a lot easier because I can just focus on my current job, but the challenge is trying to anticipate and plan for changes… Then I become anxious!
It’s my hope that starting yoga will help me learn to be more calm and relaxed. I am not that great at dealing with stress, so those are some things I’m working through right now. It’s been a bit of a tough and stressful week or two here, but I think I’m figuring some things out. My ears are open, though, if anyone has stress relieving strategies that work well!